- Tanner: You know, I don't know if I've ever discussed my conception with my mom.
- Scott: That's funny, cause I've had that discussion with your mom.
“As she initiates physical contact with his testicles, the heat becomes too much.” —Last week, I started writing synopses for rap songs on Wikipedia, but gave up after doing Snoop Dogg’s Gin and Juice. I discovered today that it had been expanded upon and refined, and featured in an article on The Awl (which was factually incorrect, stating that the synopsis had been written in 2005, when it was actually written last Tuesday).
In which Jack and I remind one another about our respective phobias: plane crashes and tattoed or distressed eyeballs
- Tanner: [via bit.ly link] http://videogum.com/209611/now-we-will-all-have-seen-this-video-about-a-teenager-with-a-maggot-growing-in-his-eyeball/news/
- Jack: Hmmmm... Not sure i want to click on that.
- Tanner: Why not?
- Jack: You have a bad habit of sending me pictures of people with questionable personal-style decisions when it comes to decorating their eyeballs. I would hate to fall victim to a piece of subterfuge of that sort.
- Tanner: No! That's not what this is. This is just a news story.
- Jack: I do quite enjoy news stories.
- Tanner: It has nothing to do with eyeball tattoos.
- Jack: ...Especially ones that are not eyeball-tattoo related.
- Jack: My game is about one million times better than your game is: http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/tower-puzzle-game-battle
- [link redirected to a list of graph airplane crash photos.]
- Tanner: Huh. That's cute
- Jack: I just clicked on your link. Did you watch the video? I will not watch the video.
- Tanner: I watched the video. It's not that bad. It's just a news report, nothing graphic. I just wanted you to know that it's a thing.
- Jack: Thank you.
- Tanner: A gnat can fly into your eye, and lay an egg inside of it before it dies and then a maggot will grow in there, and eats your eye from the inside out. That's a thing that happens... to normal people... in America.
- Jack: Why don't you tell that to the 250 people aboard Japan Airlines Flight 123, who crashed into two ridges of Mount Takamaghara following a mechanical failure? Perhaps it would take their minds off their tragedy.